Fancy Shorts

Fancy Shorts aka shorts that aren’t jeans, shorts that you wouldn’t wear to work out in, and shorts that are just a little too nice to wear over a bathing suit.  Here’s the thing.  There are soooo many different “fancy” shorts that are wonderful, adorable, and lovely.  Most of them, however, are ugly, poorly constructed, and ill fitting.  I’m just going to put this out there into the universe—once any amount of butt cheek is exposed, you’re no longer wearing adorable shorts but rather slightly oversized underwear.  Not cute.

Cool so now that we’ve established that, let’s talk about when and where fancy shorts are appropriate.  NOT AT WORK.  Even if you pair them with an Equipment button-down, some wedges, and your new MBMJ Washed Up Lauren Leather Satchel Bag (if anybody really enjoys these posts, my birthday is in 3 weeks and I’m really into that bag) you are prepared for fancy cocktails with some friends—not a meeting with your boss, no matter how classy you think you look.  Now the key to your outfit is your shoe choice.  Flats will make your fancy shorts not look so fancy and thus you will look like a fish out of water or Olivia Wilde in an Outback Steakhouse (and if you didn’t know that she is a vegetarian, now you do).  The optimal shoe choice is a nice wedge, it’ll make your legs look good and yet you’ll look slightly less skanky (sorry) than if you wear skinny stilettos.  Just something to keep in mind.

Some things about shorts:

  • Short shorts are fine, but make sure there’s adequate coverage (see above).
  • Tights under shorts (opaque or neutral) make me uncomfortable.  I’ve seen it work 3 times.  Try and be the 4th.  I dare you.
  • Fancy shorts may be fancy, but they’re not formal.  Not for work, weddings, or anywhere where your family photos are taken by a professional photographer and put in a leather photo book.
  • Wear a less-revealing top, especially when your shorts are really shorts.  Let’s be tasteful people.
  • The shorts should never go past mid-thigh.  If they do, you might as well put on a pair of Crocs and call it a day.

 

Short Suggestions:

For Day:

Alice + Olivia

Cropped Short with Cuff by Alice + Olivia

Available online from Alice + Olivia

Rebecca Taylor

Hibiscus Pleat Shorts by Rebecca Taylor

Available online from Shopbop

For Night:

Haute Hippie

Sequin Short by Haute Hippie

Available online from Haute Hippie

Opening Ceremony

Floral Jacquard Shorts by Opening Ceremony

Available online from SSENCE

And Because Everybody Knows that I Love Leather:

Chloe

Pleated Shorts by Chloé

Available online from SSENSE

Proenza Schouler

Leather Shorts by Proenza Schouler

Available online from Forward by Elyse Walker

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