Anyone remember 1998? People still used AOL email addresses, Spice World was my favorite movie, and everyone and their mother–literally, my mother and I–had those black platform Steve Madden slide-ons. You know the ones: they ranged in height from 2 inches to 5 inches (a total guesstimate I have no idea how high they actually were, but they were pretty f’ing tall). Anywayyyyy – they’re back. Well jk not those ugly Steve Madden platforms (Fashion Regret #2), but a new breed of platform sneakers, sandals, and shoes. Height without the heel and yet not the slightest bit easier to walk-in. You’ll see them on the streets, in ad campaigns, occasionally on the red carpet, and in a mall near you.
Platforms are a great to be like, Guys look how cool I am and I’m not even trying. In reality though, it’s like a pretty big project to pick out a cute pair of platforms in a sea of weird Frankenstein-ish “I’m so ugly I’m cool” shoes. The problem with the platform is if you’re not pairing them with the right outfit, or quite honestly if you choose the ugly ones in the store just because they’re, “designer,” you’re going look like a hot mess, minus the hot part. Platforms are cool, they are fun, and they are great to go out in. But if you’re wearing a suit, cocktail dress, or evening gown, the only platforms on your feet need to have a heel.
Avoiding Platform Problems:
- In case you were skimming, Platforms are not to be worn in combination with suits, cocktail dresses, or evening gowns
- Avoid any platforms with clear plastic bottoms, even if they have goldfish inside–yes those exist.
- These are not walking shoes, they kind of throw you off kilter so don’t wear them when, ya know, you’re going to be walking a lot.
- No clogs. I don’t know if that seems random but just in case you were thinking it – stop.
- Make sure the platform isn’t absurdly high. You’ll look ridiculous. You’ll also probably fall, making you look even more ridiculous. Unless they’re really, really cool. Then you can wear them.
Malabar Crisscross Platform Sandals by Famingos
Available online from Barneys New York
Seeker Sandal by UNIF
Available online from UNIF Clothing
Thrasher by Jeffrey Campbell
Available online from Jeffery Campbell
Elyse Shoes by Stella McCartney
Available online from Stella McCartney
Lace-up Shoe by Saint Laurent
Available online from Saint Laurent
Suede Creepers by Karl Lagerfeld
Available online from NET-A-PORTER